December 3–8, 2025 — Miami Beach
The ultimate fun af cultured event stack of how to Art Basel correctly. Spend $200 on the wrong tickets or spend $47 now and dial your weekend the f*** in (with zero mistakes). I hate going to lame events with no motion so I just spent 9 hours finding and curating all of these so you don't have to.
01 — The Problem
So you not only have fun, but don't waste your money—because everything is expensive as f*ck.
02 — What's Inside
4 essential fairs + 17 events handpicked for quality. No fluff, no maybes. Just the locations that guarantee a memorable week.
Every location pinned and color-coded by day. Share with your crew. No more group chat chaos about addresses.
Optimal daily schedules based on timing and proximity. Gallery → Fair → Dinner → Party. We mapped the flow so you don't waste time.
Best times to hit each venue. When to skip. Which doors have guest list tricks. The stuff that takes years to learn.
Dress codes decoded for every venue. Faena dress code ≠ Factory Town dress code. Stop second-guessing at the door.
Quick profiles on every DJ playing this week. Get up to speed fast—know who's who before you walk in.
03 — Daily Breakdown
Wednesday
5
Events
Thursday
4
Events
Friday
3
Events
Saturday
3
Events
Sunday
1
Event
Monday
1
Event
+ 4 major fairs running Wed–Sun
04 — Included Free
Everything you need beyond the schedule
Hour-by-hour suggested flow for each day. Gallery in the morning, fair in the afternoon, party at night—optimized by geography so you're never backtracking across Miami.
Exact windows to visit each fair and venue to avoid crowds. Saturday 2-4pm at Art Basel? Skip it. Friday at open? Walk right in.
All 21 locations pinned with color-coding by day and type. One tap for directions. Shareable link for your group.
Venue-by-venue dress code breakdown. Know when to dress up (Faena), dress down (Factory Town), and when "creative" actually means something.
Quick-read profiles on Solomun, Kettama, The Dare, Tiësto, Vintage Culture, and every DJ on the week's lineup. Know the vibe before you commit to a 10-hour party.
Instant Download
$47
You can gamble $300 on lame events or you can just buy my autistically-curated bangerlist & make your life easy af with zero stress. Plus you can share the map with your friends too.
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